I’ve been logging into FFXI pretty regularly — though for short times.   FFXI doesn’t lend itself well to short bursts of gameplay — but I’m making the most of it and progressing on some of the things I want to.

However, I find myself slightly stressed to get things done.  This is a point of concern for me.

When I played Gentoo, I got caught up in the rat race to 75.  Since most of my in-game mates were in school, or generally doing something that gave them far more free time than your average working stiff (like me), I really got hung up on the need to not be left behind.

So I skipped every ounce of content I could so I could grind away on XP.  Any content I couldn’t skip, I ended up relying on higher level friends to burn me through.  The end result was, while I did have plenty of good times, that I burned out completely on the game and left.

When I restarted with Suquamish, I was determined to play FFXI like it was a game.  Shocking concept — I know.  I not only succeeded, but ended exceeding my desire to simply have a good time in game.  FFXI turned out to be an amazing time thanks to my static (Darrian, Ardra, Flick, and Greavin) and both the lolCats and Paradigm linkshells.  In those circles of friends, there was no pressure except that which we put on ourselves to enjoy the game.  When the static and linkshells petered out (as is the nature of these things), I was in a funk.  I could only find people in the game that were in the rat race.  FFXI once again started transforming into something that looked less like a game and more like a chore, so I left again.

With the news of FFXIV, the lure to Vana’diel was too much and I decided to end my time with other MMOs to play FFXI.  Again the goal, as it should be with any game, was to have fun while I finished up a few things I originally had set out to do.  It’s harder this time — the game is still entertaining, but again the pressure to hurry up and get something done haunts me.  This time it’s not a case of being left behind by my peers, but by the fact that when FFXIV comes out I know I’ll play it and stop FFXI.  I know FFXIV is AT LEAST a year away, but I still feel like I need to hurry to accomplish the things I want to do in the game.

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